Values are beliefs that guide my actions. They are at the foundation of my intentional choices and behaviors. In other words, values can be things I hold pretty near and dear.
Humans have needs, and when someone else (your teen, parent, partner, friend, colleague) expresses their needs, it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. It just means they have needs.
This is an invitation to notice the thoughts you are choosing today and every day. Do your best to observe the thoughts gently, kindly.
When you and your child or teen reach agreements TOGETHER, the buy-in is stronger. They are more likely to follow through with genuine interest and commitment.
There are self-care practices we engage in regularly to help keep our cups full, AND there will be times of intense stress, in which we need specific and sometimes more substantial self-care.
Teenagers, especially, need structure to thrive. From developing a healthy relationship with their technology and social media, to getting enough sleep (they need 9 hours on average!), to developing strong study skills or applying to college, to practicing self-care and playing, to building a social life, they have a lot to manage!
In any decision-making opportunity, your teen has much to consider. They are simultaneously considering their own ideas, beliefs about what peers expect from them, thoughts about family norms, and images from media.
It's time to give your intentions even greater value by aligning your actions with it. The anticipation of the new year is a perfect time to focus inward and offer yourself some extra self-care.
I've learned that when I take the time to identify what I need and share it with my spouse, for example, our presence and connection are enhanced.
When (not if) your teen presents an undesirable behavior or seems "shut down", you have an opportunity to ASK about it, rather than telling them about (aka lecturing them).