As we engage in any kind of interpersonal relationships, it’s important that we center the goal of establishing individual and collective health and safety.
You want to be received without judgment. Furthermore, you don’t want to be brushed off, yelled at, written off, talked over, underestimated, laughed at, and so on.
Boundaries are most effective when we feel comfortable with the container (a.k.a. limits) we are creating for ourselves. Oftentimes, boundaries help us honor the answer to the question “What do I need?”.
I've learned that when I take the time to identify what I need and share it with my spouse, for example, our presence and connection are enhanced.