In this midst of all of the worthwhile work you are doing together, it is crucial that you and your teen are also making space for the lighter things in life. In my work with parents, I use a three-pronged focus on self-care, communication, and child-centered action. Each of these elements deserves, in fact, depends on, joy… YOU and your teenager deserve to have fun and to play.
When you and your child or teen reach agreements TOGETHER, the buy-in is stronger. They are more likely to follow through with genuine interest and commitment.
When (not if) you make a “mistake,” you have an “opportunity to repair” the connection with your teenager.
I've learned that when I take the time to identify what I need and share it with my spouse, for example, our presence and connection are enhanced.
Limits don’t negate choices. Limits aren’t consequences or punishment. Instead, limits help young people understand boundaries-- their own and other people’s.
The truth is, dreams come from one’s internal compass, not from external sources, pressures, or societal norms and expectations. Furthermore, teenagers need space to explore, reflect, experience, and process and come to their own truths, their own path.
When (not if) your teen presents an undesirable behavior or seems "shut down", you have an opportunity to ASK about it, rather than telling them about (aka lecturing them).
Are we expecting our day to go exactly as we planned it in our daydream? Are we holding so tight that we are missing out on opportunities to build relationship with our loved ones?
Sometimes, routines feel like work, even when they are supportive. Rituals, though, feel like sweet, kind self-care.
When you say "no," and your teen reacts strongly, consider these 5 Ways to Respond to Your Teenager's Meltdown, which will support them in cooling down and realizing that it all really is okay.