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3 Ways of Getting Out of an “I Can’t” Belief

Courtney Harris Coaching July 24, 2017
What does the moment of "I can't" look like for you? Having a tough afternoon, day, or week, is normal; it’s…
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  • Practicing Self-Love on Valentine’s Day and Every Day
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Courtney Harris Coaching
Hello friends, Each week, some new folks subscrib Hello friends, Each week, some new folks subscribe to my email list and others leave. I used to get a bit sad about these unsubscribes; I used to take it personally. I mean... sometimes/most times I put my heart into these messages and the resources I share. I tend to this community, and quite honestly, it's vulnerable sharing like this.  AND this is actually a natural and beautiful process-- the new connections and the letting gos. I want this space to be mutually beneficial. I always hope that someone (anyone!) will take something (anything!) away from these messages. Likewise, I hope that folks who resonate with my work or even feel challenged by my work will engage with and support me in some way, shape, or form. And if this is not the case, it's okay for us to part ways, at least for now. Life is full of these moments of coming together and drifting apart, and it's okay for us to talk about it in the open. Here's to trusting the process, <3 Courtney (she/they) P.S. Link in bio to join my newsletter for weekly messages and links to resources, mutual aid projects, and more if it feels right. . . . [ID: White background with teal plant designs throughout. Grey text reads: “Life is full of these moments of coming together and drifting apart, and it's okay for us to talk about it in the open.” www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenLifeCoach #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #CommunityBuilding #BusinessForThePeople #LettingGo #TrustTheProcess #LifeCoaching
Last Thursday, I started to realize that the upcom Last Thursday, I started to realize that the upcoming week was looking FULL, for which I am grateful and honored. It’s full of things and people and work that I truly love and value. And, the layers of grief, the heaviness of moments and people lost, the hard conversations that are unresolved and raw, the loneliness of this time… it’s all weighing on me. I don’t need to share my laundry list of things on my grief list for you to understand that THIS IS A HARD TIME. I know you know. I know you feel it too. As I thought about the week ahead, I realized that my capacity would not match the energy required to manage all of it (work + personal life + home life). In other words, the fullness passed the threshold into a place of overwhelm because my capacity and tolerance is low right now. Again, I am guessing this experience may be familiar to you, too. On the blog this week I talk about how I asked for help + the beauty of community care. (Shout out to the handful of friends who cooked for me this week— I’m sobbing with gratitude!) Link in bio to read! . . . [ID: Ombre fuchsia circle on white background. Text reads: On Asking for Help from Community. Courtney Harris Coaching’s logo which includes 3 interconnected hearts is on the bottom. www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenLifeCoach #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #ParentsOfTeens #ParentsOfCollegeStudents #CourtneyHarrisCoaching #ParentingCoach #SelfCare #CommunityCare #CollectiveCare #HowToAskForHelp #AskingForHelp
Hello friends, Yesterday morning was a rough one Hello friends, Yesterday morning was a rough one due to some interpersonal stuff, and I lost my late morning work time to managing my emotions-- thanks to my mini trampoline, Taylor Swift, and a steady group text with friends. Sometimes it's just like that, right?! Unexpected stuff happens with the people we love, and it can really throw us off. I hear this from teens and parents I work with on the regular. It happens to me, too. This is part of being human. Today, I couldn't just sit down at my desk, turn on some music, and get to work. I needed to complete the stress cycle ASAP. This is a process I learned from Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski. Even when we can't complete the stress cycle immediately, it's important that we do this ASAP. The book offers lots of great detail about why and how to release stress. But in short, some of the most effective ways to de-stress include: moving, breathing, laughing, connecting with others, crying, giving/receiving affection with a loved one, and expressing yourself creatively. If this is resonating, if you're feeling the need to release stress, I invite you to pause and give yourself ~20 minutes to tap into one or more of these tools. (Hint: This is all of us. We all need to do this.) If you can't do it now, plan a time in the next 24 hours when you can. Completing the stress cycle is part of regular or maintenance self-care, AND it can be a tool for emergency self-care. Breathing and trying to laugh with you, <3 Courtney (she/they) . . . [ID: Fuchsia background with white text that reads “Unexpected stuff happens with the people we love, and it can really throw us off. I hear this from teens and parents I work with on the regular. It happens to me, too. This is part of being human.” www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #CourtneyHarrisCoaching #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenCoach #ParentsOfTeens #LifeCoach #Reflections #SelfCare #Burnout #SelfCareBlogger #StressResponse #ReleaseTheStress #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #LifeCoachForYoungAdults
My colleague @j_garciacuellar wrote a much-needed My colleague @j_garciacuellar wrote a much-needed guest blog for parents of teens and young adults who are preparing to become empty nesters. "Your child is now a teenager and you have to listen to them cry because someone broke up with them, or patch a hole in the wall because they got mad that they lost their video game. Who could blame those crazy teenage still-developing brains filled with hormones, puberty, and all kinds of chemical changes? Teenagers… am I right?! Looking back, you can now remember and enjoy the memories from your own teenage years because that’s what life is about. Just as you finally realize you have it figured out or even if you don’t, your kid is ready for the real world and suddenly, the room is empty. So you find yourself sitting in their room on their twin size bed pushed all the way to the wall with dirty plates on their bookshelf, and you sit there and wonder…..now what?" Read the rest on the blog. Link in bio, as always! . . . [ID: Ombre fuchsia circle on white background. Text reads: Preparing for the Transition to the Empty Nest. Courtney Harris Coaching’s logo which includes 3 interconnected hearts is on the bottom. www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenLifeCoach #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #ParentsOfTeens #EmptyNesters #PreparingForEmptyNest #ParentsOfCollegeStudents #ParentsOfYoundAdults #CourtneyHarrisCoaching #TherapistForTeens #ParentingCoach #ParentingCoaching
Feels like it’s time for an intro post, and I’ Feels like it’s time for an intro post, and I’m going with super raw and authentic on this one. This intro came purely though a conversation with a new friend. They asked what I’ve been up to, and I said “coaching and doulaing.” They didn’t know that I’m a Life Coach for Teens and Young Adults, so they asked me more... here’s exactly what I said: “I don’t sell a bunch of fucking programs and shit. I don’t tell you you’re gonna make 97 changes in 12 weeks. Etc. I’m like.. I’m a human. And I’m here to witness you being human. I’ll reflect back what I hear and see. I’ll offer ideas for reflection. I’ll offer accountability in the ways you want it.” This is the truth. And there’s always nuance. I have plans for a course that I want to release— lol. I think some online courses are powerful and special and important. And, yes, of course I believe in growth and healing and making changes along the way. What I don’t like, tho, is the way soooo many coaches are wrapped up in the same capitalistic bullshit they claim to be getting free from. Scarcity tactics and manipulation, empty and lofty promises, and saviorism are all YUCKY and harmful. (If someone has tried to focus a multi thousand dollar course on you, you knowoooooow what I’m talking about.) I don’t love using the word “coach” because of all the trash I see across the World Wide Web. However, it’s user friendly and gets to the point. What matters more than the label, however, is the relationship we build together. So, if there’s a young person in your life who is looking for someone who can hold space, offer support, and share new perspectives, that’s me. . . . [ID: Courtney is wearing a backwards purple hat and smiling at the camera.] . . . #LifeCoach #LifeCoachForTeens #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #CourtneyHarrisCoaching #AntiCapitalism #IntroductionPost #Nuance
Hello friends, I find myself typing and then dele Hello friends, I find myself typing and then deleting, typing and deleting. I've typed things from "Happy New Year!" and "Adequate New year" (as I heard a friend say today) to "I don't know where to start!' and "Well, here we are." Personally, I feel some freshness when I think about the new calendar year and the inspiration that some of my go-to new year rituals bring; vision boarding is my favorite! And I feel some heaviness when I think about the sameness so many days have due to COVID. I also feel a tightness in my chest, the anxiety of uncertainty and activation that lingers from the white supremacist attacks last week and concern about what the rest of this month might look like. What's coming up for you? Rather than forcing ourselves ahead into new projects, including setting new intentions or making vision boards, I invite us all to keep it slow. Join me in checking in with yourself. Notice what's on your mind. And your heart. Tune in to the sensations of your body. Then, consider what you need in this moment, today, this week, and so on. This time can be an opportunity to reflect and vision (see this week's blog if that's what you're feeling), but it doesn't have to be. And if you are up for setting intentions, give yourself time. There's no deadline for this kind of process, so don't let the calendar create unnecessary pressure. With a deep breath, <3 Courtney (she/they) . . . [ID: Fuchsia background with multicolor confetti border. Text reads: “Notice what's on your mind. And your heart. Tune in to the sensations of your body.” www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenLifeCoach #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #NewYear2021 #HappyNewYear #NewYearIntentions #IntentionSetting #VisionBoarding #SlowDown
Setting intentions and visions helps you live into Setting intentions and visions helps you live into the possibilities! When you take time to reflect and take stock of your life, you might recognize a sense of inspiration, a desire to think and dream, or a knowing that growth and change is ahead. It is important to allow yourself time to imagine a wide range of possibilities for yourself. Furthermore, intention-setting and visioning can support you in reviewing or renewing your values and prioritizing your passions and interests. When you make time for these practices, you will, in turn, make time for the things, people, and goals you love. Read more on the blog, and share with the young people in your life. Link in bio! . . . [ID: Ombre fuchsia circle on white background. Text reads: How to Set Intentions and Visions for 2021 And Beyond. Courtney Harris Coaching’s logo which includes 3 interconnected hearts is on the bottom. www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenLifeCoach #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #NewYear2021 #HappyNewYear #NewYearIntentions #IntentionSetting #VisionBoarding #IdealDay
2020. 2020.
Hello friends, This week I am taking a pause to b Hello friends, This week I am taking a pause to breathe and reset (and watch a lot of TV), and I've been thinking about how very grateful I am for you. Yes, you. The families who share their stories and experience with me. The people who share and support my work. The teens and young adults who trust me to be a part of their journeys. The parents who arrive with open hearts and minds. The folks I've never met who engage with my work by reading emails, or posts, or blogs. The friends and colleagues who share community with me. The teachers who help me grow and stretch. The ancestors whose stories inform and support my journey and healing. The land and trees and sun that nurture and sustain me. Thank you for being here! Thank you for sharing time and space with me. Heart eyes, <3 Courtney (she/they) . . . [ID: Pink background with yellow and white text that reads “Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing time and space with me.” www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #CourtneyHarrisCoaching #Goodbye2020 #Hello2021 #LifeCoachForTeens #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #GratitudePractice
I'm super excited to host this powerful and needed I'm super excited to host this powerful and needed guest blog by my friend @altheais. It's written specifically for teens and young adults, but this is truly a piece for all of us to engage with. "Abolition is more than getting rid of prisons. Abolitionists believe that violence is a product of pain and unmet needs. If every one of us had our needs met, a supportive and supported community, and access to care, just how healthy would we be? Studies, even those that aren’t calling for prison abolition, tell us that crime arises from unhealthy communities and unhealthy people. Abolition asks us to think beyond “prescriptive approaches” to justice and instead consider what is needed to repair and prevent the harm in the first place. That is, instead of saying “when you steal something worth $100 or more, you should go to jail for 5 days,” prison abolition asks for a system that gets curious when harm happens. Why did you steal and what do you need for 1) your needs to be met and, 2) not cause more harm?" Keep reading and find lots of resources on the blog. Link in bio! . . . [ID: Ombre fuchsia circle on white background. Text reads: What You Need to Know about Abolition and Transformative Justice. Courtney Harris Coaching’s logo which includes 3 interconnected hearts is on the bottom. www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenLifeCoach #LifeCoachForYoungAdults #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #BusinessForThePeople #Abolition #Abolition101 #TransformativeJustice #SocialJustice
Hello friends, This week a client and I were talk Hello friends, This week a client and I were talking about "inside the comfort zone" activities and "outside the comfort zone" activities. We considered what combination of these activities feels "right" over the course of a day or a week, and so on. If we stayed INside our comfort zones 100% of the time (in a day or a week), we wouldn't learn, stretch, or grow. And on the other hand, if we were pushed OUTside our comfort zones 100% of the time, we would be tapped out, maxed out, and drained. Finding a balance of these activities and experiences can support us in finding variety and excitement AND comfort and ease. Balance does not mean 50-50, though; instead, as I said above, it means a combination that feels right to YOU. Also, some days or weeks might take us outside of our comfort zone more than usual, so "balancing" ourselves may mean doing more inside the comfort zones activities the next day(s) or week(s). In other words, balance is dynamic. For example, today I have an activity that pushes me outside of my comfort zone in a big way (an interview for a writing job!); thus, I want to be mindful about offering myself some familiarity later throughout the day-- wearing comfy clothes, eating dinner with my partner, and listening to evermore are some ideas that come to mind. What does the balance of inside the comfort zone and outside the comfort zone experiences look like for you right now? Do you need more of one? If so, how can you offer that to yourself in the upcoming days/weeks? Take care, <3 Courtney (she/her) . . . [ID: teal background with text that read “Comfort Zone Stuff…”] . . . #CourtneyHarrisCoaching #LifeCoachForTeens #TeenCoach #ParentsOfTeens #LifeCoach #Reflections #SelfCare #ComfortZone #TryNewThings #FindEase #LifeCoachForCollegeStudents #LifeCoachForYoungAdults
Y'ALL! This guest blog by my friend @jilldoneen is Y'ALL! This guest blog by my friend @jilldoneen is so beautiful and supportive for these times. "Uncertainty is one of the reliable hallmarks of life. There will always be moments where we don’t know what to do. These are also times when we have a lot of feelings and thoughts swirling. Our feelings orient us toward what we want, and the thoughts often check those desires against norms and expectations. Both of these things are necessary and can be helpful but are also often at odds. Uncertainty about what’s happening and how it might play out adds to the tension. So, how do we take care of ourselves in uncertain times? My process is based in nature. There are three characteristics of natural systems that can offer us support and stability when we feel uncertain. Nature can help us navigate life when we don’t know what else to do." Keep reading on the blog for sweet and simple guidance. Link in bio. . . . [ID: Ombre fuchsia circle on white background. Text reads: How to Tune in to Nature in Times of Uncertainty. Courtney Harris Coaching’s logo which includes 3 interconnected hearts is on the bottom. www.courtneyharriscoaching.com] . . . #LifeCoachForTeens #ParentsOfTeens #SelfLove #SelfCareBlogger #Belonging #SelfCarePractices #ParentingTools #NatureTherapy #NatureHeals #2021Intentions
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